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I know some of y'all have been tempted to buy a cellphone under $30 for the holidays. Sure, it may seem like a good deal as a gift, or for yourself, and sometimes it is, but here are a few reasons why you should do your research before buying a piece of shit by accident.

1. They are shit.

And by shit, I mean badly designed, poorly constructed, and made from materials slightly more dense than a clump wet toilet paper dried in the Mojave desert. The screens of these phones may claim that they are Gorilla glass, but in reality, they are easier to scratch than a sheet of copy paper is scratched by a fucking Gladius broadsword. A slight breeze could make your screen look like a fucking Mosaic tile in a catholic auditorium.

2. They are outdated.

I don't care if the $20 phone is running Android 6: If your phone doesn't have at least a 199 PPI (Pixels Per Inch) screen density, or an 800 by 400 pixel resolution, you're wasting your money. There is no point in buying a smartphone if the resolution is shit, because you will just end up being arbitrarily locked out of apps on the Google Play store that require a decent resolution to use, such as Autodesk Sketchbook, or most decent games.

Speaking of Apps and hardware, if the phone doesn't have at least a Dual core processor, it's not worth buying, and could potentially be dangerous in a life-threatening emergency. Android OS was never designed with anything but multitasking in mind, which means that if you're trying to make a phone call, one core needs to display the stuff on the screen, while the other core makes the call. Most shit phones have only one processor, yet run Android 4.4; making something as simple as a goddamn phone call the world's biggest, slowest pain in the ass. Could you imagine needing to press the emergency call button, only for the phone to just sit there with the screen locked up, as the axe murderer chops down the bathroom door?



Oh, and there's the ram. Most of the time, when you see a smartphone around 20 bucks, it claims to have 512 megs of ram built in, but what that really means is that it only lets you use 384, or 256 megs of it, while the Android OS uses up the rest, so don't even bother with it. Get a phone with at least 1 Gig of ram, just to avoid that bullshit, because there is a huge difference in performance.

3. They're embarrassing.

Now I know I'm going to sound like a colossal douche saying this, but... Fellas, imagine you're trying to hollar at a girl, and she giving' up 'dem didgits, so she pulls out her iPhone 6 to drop a number on your ass. Do you really wanna be that nigga that pulls out a Kyocera Event? Yeah, I didn't think so.

When your phone is shit, people know, and most of the time, they can tell just by looking at it. Low resolution, ugly design, and the fact that the glass is broken from the last time you dropped it because it's about as easy to grip as a bar of soap in a prison shower stall, are all signs that you have a low quality device.

You're probably wondering why I keep using a picture of the same phone for this article, and there's a very good reason for this: It's the perfect example of what I'm talking about.

I bought the LG Optimus L3 II (e425) from Fry's Electronics when I moved back to California and got my first job in the state way back in March this year. I was convinced to go to Fry's on a whim, since I needed a cell phone, but I didn't have a lot of money to spend; leading me to buy this:

... For $50... In fucking March of 2015. I take it home, thinking I got a sweet deal, open the box and turn it on, only to realize that the screen resolution is low, with a pixel density about as high as a Nokia brick phone back in the early 2000s. Though it was made very well, the glass screen scratched easier than a Gameboy Advance, and with only 1 core, it was slow as all fuck when it was connected to wifi.

Later on, I bought a T-Mobile Sim card for it, only to find that the phone was so outdated, it didn't even run something as old as a 3G data pipe, but instead, only ran Edge/2G, on a 4G LTE plan I had to pay $40 a month to use.

I ended up replacing it with a Motorola Moto E (2nd generation, 2015) on a Virgin Mobile plan; a phone that only cost me $40 at a WalMart, all because I did my research before going out and buying a phone.

Conclusion:

That's the main point I want people to glean from this Article: Be and informed buyer. Don't buy a smartphone at random. I don't care if you're buying it as a gift, or for your kids, because most smartphones you buy don't have the specs on the box. You walk into a store to buy a smart phone, you're walking in there blind. You have no idea what the screen resolution is, what kind of CPU it has, or sometimes even what kind of OS it's running. The sellers and retailers do this on purpose, looking to rip off unsuspecting buyers who have no idea what they're doing, and believe me: it's very easy to get ripped off when buying a smartphone.

If you are interested in buying a phone, and want to know if its any good, do yourself a favor and go to phonearena.com. This website gives full specs, with detailed info on whether or not a certain feature is any good. Its great for both beginners and the more advanced Android users. You'll learn a lot, and you'll be glad you did.

3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Buy a Crappy Android Phone

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Photobucket.com was once a reputable image hosting service, established way back in 2003. Now, some 12 years later, Photobucket is one of the worst websites I have ever had to use.

Not only is this website flooded with bandwidth-draining ads that use up more resources than a room-mate using your router to torrent bestiality, but it's clunky interface and horrible tendency to crash your web browser is why this website isn't just bad: it's dangerous.

  • It's slow.

Photobucket.com loads about as quickly as Darwin's theory of evolution. There are glaciers melting in Alaska faster than this website can finish loading a page. This shitty website struggles so much just opening the log-in drop-down menu, you'd think it was busy deciphering the human genome.

  • The interface sucks.

Go ahead. Try to find your photo albums. I dare you. Between trying to figure out where the hell your photos are, and dodging two or three loud video and pop-up ads, Adobe Flash would have crashed twice, your web browser would have locked up for 6 minutes, and your web browser will have unexpectedly quit before you even get that far.

If you do manage to get through that with your web browser intact, good luck trying to find a way to share the pic on anything other than a social network, because you won't even see those options unless you click on a pic, and load yet another page slower than a dead snail with Polio.

  • Too many ads.

Photobucket has more ads than the fucking PirateBay back in 2013. If you want to log in to Photobucket, be prepared to be gang-raped by pop-ups, loud videos about household cleaning products, and countless banners trying to convince you to buy a printed mug of whatever image you recently uploaded. Logging into Photobucket is like a malware attack on steroids holding a bag of shrooms.

I joined Photobucket back in 2004, and I had the misfortune of having to watch as this once useful website slowly became an enormous piece of elephant shit carrying the Ebola virus. I still (try to) use it, if only just to retrieve over a decade's worth of images I've collected and uploaded over the years, but every timer I go there, it's like running butt-naked through a mine field.

I really miss what Photobucket was 10 years ago, before making a cheap profit was more important than having a decent service with a good product. There was even a time when Photobucket was one of the most useful tools on the web.

I could only pray for the original photobucket's return, but until then, this website sucks.

3 Reasons Why Photobucket.com Sucks

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If you've never heard of Lenny B. Robinson, You definitely should read this story of the Baltimore Batman.

Robinson had become world famous in 2012 after a police dash cam recorded a traffic stop of him in a Michel Keaton Batman costume driving a custom Lamborghini Galliardo with Bat-license-plates.



As you can see from the video, the cops are ecstatic about the whole thing. They were even taking pictures with the guy, and even shaking his hand when he got out of the car.

Robinson was heading to Baltimore Sinai hospital to visit some sick children: many of whom were fighting cancer. He's been doing this for years: spending tens of thousands of dollars donating schools supplies to children, and cheering up terminally ill kids.

It started in 2007. After Robinson sold his hugely successful cleaning business he started when he was still in high school. He decided to take the money he got from selling the business to become Batman full time. He bought authentic costumes, and even bought one of Bruce Wayne's Lambos and turned it into a totally legit Batmobile.

So you could imagine the shock and despair many of us experienced when we discovered that the Baltimore Batman is dead. Robinson died in a tragic car accident as he tried to repair that Lamborghini after it broke down on the side of the road; being struck by a car in the process. He was 51 years old.

 

Many of those very sick children he visited in the hospital are well now, and visited him at his funeral. He leaves behind his son (Robin) and his wife.

I think in order to truly understand the magnitude of this tragedy, we need to understand what Batman; as a character in modern mythology; truly represents. To do that, we need to understand the events that lead to the Batman in the first place.

Most of us already know about Bruce Wayne; how he was afraid of bats, how his parents were shot dead in front of him by a mugger in an alley on the way back from a movie theater, and the fact that he devoted his life to fighting crime, but the legend of Batman was never about just beating up bad guys.

Bruce wanted to leave the theater that night because he was afraid of the bats in the film, which ultimately lead to his parent's deaths. Those bats Bruce feared as a child were just something that creeped him out when he was little, but after that night, bats became the personification of Bruce's fear of death. Batman wears the cape, the cowl and the Bat symbolism, not just to scare the crap out of muggers and crime lords, but because they represent what Bruce Wayne has overcome: Fear. Batman doesn't use guns because he has overcome the fear of guns. Batman doesn't kill because he has overcome the fear of being killed. Batman becomes something scary-looking because Bruce Wayne isn't afraid anymore.

I think this is why the character of Batman resonates with a lot of people. Even if many of us can't quite put into words why we think Batman is so cool, I think it all comes down to what Batman represents. You see, batman isn't just some comic book superhero anymore. He isn't just a costume or a lot of money, either. Batman is an ideal; the ideal that anyone -even little kids- can overcome fear.



"It is absolutely clear to those of us in the field that attitude and play therapy and distraction help children overcome illnesses, so this is a big deal for all the kids who are here today." -That's a quote from Dr. Joseph M. Wiley back in 2012 while Batman visited Baltimore Sinai hospital. Yes, that's right; Batman helps kids fight cancer.

I think what makes Robinson so cool is how much of himself he dedicated to this whole thing. Make no mistake about it: this guy was LOADED! This guy could have just sat on his butt and lived off the money he earned from selling the cleaning business for the rest of his life, but he didn't. This guy CHOSE to dedicate his life to this. What would have been something most costumed mascots would have done on the weekends between earning a paycheck, this guy dedicated the rest of his natural life just to make little kids feel better, and he was doing it until the very day he died.

I'm deviating from my usual formula of poking fun at websites and comedic articles because I wanted people to remember Lenny B. Robinson. I felt it was important for people to remember that this wasn't just some guy in a Lambo and a Batman costume: This guy was BATMAN. Period. In every way that counted, Robinson embodied the highest ideals of DC Heroes in every way that mattered, and even managed to get everything about the mythology right. The wealth, the costumes, the car, The fact that he already looks like Bruce Wayne, his positive relationship with law enforcement... Everything was spot on. But he didn't do it to show off, because this guy was a class act. Had it not been for the Police Dashcam footage being uploaded online, no one outside of Baltimore Sinai Hospital would have even known he existed.

"Remember, at the end of the day, ask yourself, 'Self, did I make a difference?' And the answer had better be yes." -Lenny B. Robinson (Batman)

What You Should Know About The Batman. (Lenny B. Robinson)

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I'm going to just cut to the chase. I've been browsing a lot of blogs lately, looking to make interesting conversation, and I gotta be honest: 90% of the blogs I've seen could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Not all of them, mind you, just the vast majority of them have at least one problem that sucks harder than a black hole in Einstein's theory of relativity.

Here is a list of things I don't like about most blogs, and how I think they can be fixed.

  •  Don't try to force me to sign up for a news letter just to see your pages.


If you are a web designer, and the only way someone can view your content is to sign up using their Google+, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram account, You need to take that off right now. Seriously, go into your control panel and remove that shit ASAP.

As a consumer, there is absolutely no way in a frozen hell with flying pigs I'm going to register for a newsletter from a website I know nothing about, just to see content that I don't even know if I'm going to be interested in. I don't even care if your site has free downloadable hardcore pornography streaming in 4K, there is just no way that's going to happen.

New readers are going to avoid your website like the plague the moment they see a pop up ad they can't close, demanding that they register just to read any of the articles on the site, and this is bottle-necking your site's growth potential in a big way.

This shit is enough to make your site look less like a series of articles and more like a malware attack. This underhanded tactic doesn't work, and it's a great way to make new readers treat your website with more disdain than a hypodermic needle filled with Ebola and fucking smallpox.

  •  Don't tell me about your day.
There couldn't possibly be anything in the universe I could give less of a fuck about than your cat, your kids, where you went this morning, or the fact that you just ate a sandwich at TGI Fridays. If you're going to advertise your blog on Google+ communities or Facebook groups, at least have the humility to talk about something other than yourself once in a while. It's your blog; not your journal, and not your Facebook account.

I've got news for you fellas: Nobody knows you. People don't come to your blog because they want to know about your day, they come to your blog because they want to know what you think, what your opinions are,  and perhaps your expertise on a particular topic.

If you're reading this and are still thinking of writing a blog post about your daughter graduating High School, or the fact that you lost your car keys this morning, guess what? Nobody gives a shit. You're not that important, and your dirty laundry is not worth the time wasted reading about it.

  • Stop reporting the news.

I am sick and tired of going on blogs filled with copy-written stories containing nothing but opinions from "experts", or bloggers just acknowledging the fact that the story exists.

You guys are supposed to be bloggers. You're not a journalist. You're supposed to tell me what you think, not what others think, not what the popular opinions are, and not what experts in the field are saying. Nobody is going to your blog to read the New York Times. You can have all the news stories you want in your blog, but don't bother giving us the story if you're not going to give us your take.

I swear, all the bloggers are writing like journalists these days, and all the journalists are writing like bloggers.What the hell is going on?

Anyway, what do you think? What's your biggest blog pet peeve?

3 Things I Don't Like About Your Blog

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I spent a day or two looking at a few websites with articles about why certain blogs tend to suck, which got me thinking: does this blog suck? 

I'm sure we've seen or read blogs that suck before, right? Those crappy, text-only earth-toned blogspot websites that look like they were designed by a teenage girl using AOL Hometown in 1997... Those pitiful, unimaginably boring rows of run-on sentences longer than a self-aware stephen king novel if it were in an interview more boring than a feminist at a TEDTalk convention...

I didn't need to compare notes to realize why my blog sucks, so I decided to compile a list of reasons why it does. (in my not so humble opinion.) If you are a blog admin reading this, I would encourage you to do the same with your blog as well.
  • 1. No one reads it.

This blog has about as much viewership as a book review at the MTV music awards. Google analytics averages my posts at about 25 viewers: none of whom ever come back after reading the articles on here.
  • 2. No consistent topics.

I started off as a comedian, spinning articles on other websites, then I started posting some shitty video game reviews I wrote around 15 years ago, and next thing ya know, I'm writing about how stupid social justice warriors are. I write about more random bullshit than a proto-femenist reptilian-kin bi-curious poly-romantic space unicorn with with a Tumblr account.
  • 3. No consistent posts.

After working a ten-hour shift at a factory at 5:30am six days a week, I don't feel like writing about a thing when I get home. The only thing I feel like doing is sleeping like captain America after WWII. Even if I can be bothered to write something, you better believe it would come out like a month after initially writing a third of it. Nobody wants to subscribe to a blog like that, do they?

  • 4. Blogger software.

Yeah, I said it. I don't mean to be a jerk or anything, but the only difference between Blogger and WordPress is that WordPress doesn't deep throat a donkey's nutsack quite as passionately as Blogger's software does. If I were to compare the two using some sort of arbitrary software analogy, WordPress would be the Adobe Illustrator of blogging software, whereas Blogger would be those Mavis Beacon typing simulators from 1996. To put things in perspective, WordPress is blogging software you install into your web space in order to build a website, whereas blogger is that E.B.T card for low-income welfare recipients that you would use to make the equivalent of an Eastwood Insurance commercial. Sorry Google; I love your software when you guys make it, but the moment you buy out someone else's, (YouTube) its about as well made as a Chinese wristwatch.

  • 5. No one knows what this website is about.

This site doesn't have a niche to cling to, making it harder to find, and less likely to grab and hold the reader's attention. There are categories for gaming, entertainment, music, technology and comedy that are neither cohesive, nor are even a focus on this site at all. One moment I'm writing comedy, the next I'm writing "srs bznss" about a videogames. The people who come to this website come here looking for what they're interested in, and comedy gets more attention than stoic bullshit any day of the week. Sometimes I look at some of my old game reviews and think to myself: "if people wanted to read this, they could have went to GameSpot.com or IGN. Why the hell am I writing like I'm Adam Sessler with a midlife crisis?"

  • What I can do to fix it. 

  1. Make it funnier. All and all, if this website doesn't focus on anything, it focuses on everything. If it focuses on everything, it needs to make everything funny. Otherwise, this website sucks.
  2. Write more often. Making a blog and only posting once a month is about as useful to a consumer as a newspaper is to someone with a freaking Smartphone and free WiFi. Writing more often means better SEO and more reasons for a reader to come back.
  3. Make the articles shorter. No one wants to read a 500 page masters thesis on anything short of what they need to finish a book report. People have better things to do with their time than read 26 paragraphs about something that can be summarized in a single sentence. I'd be willing to bet that this is the primary problem with this website: the posts are too goddam long, and most people don't finish reading one before they decided to switch tabs to PornHub or xHamster.
If you are reading this and you have a blog, I encourage you to write a post like this one. Tell your audience (if any) what you think is wrong with your blog, and what you can do to fix it.
Seeing your website's problems from the outside in can help you make a better website.

5 Reasons Why This Blog Sucks

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Sometime in October 2014, the ESA (European Space Agency) Successfully landed a spacecraft, known as the Philae onto a comet in space. This would have been one of the most pivotal accomplishments in human history that would change the world as we know it, had it not been for this this one dude's shirt.

In an article written on theverge.com (by two people for some odd reason) entitled: "I don't care if you landed a spacecraft on a comet, your shirt is sexist and ostracizing", (yes, someone actually wrote that title and took it seriously,) The writers claimed that the shirt, worn by project scientist Matt Taylor, represented "three steps back for mankind," as it would undoubtedly discourage women from joining the Aerospace industry. "This is the sort of casual misogyny that stops women from entering certain scientific fields." said one of the coked-up tumblr feminists who co-rote this article. They continue by claiming that the shirt "demeans 50 percent of the world's population." Because as we all know, these two people writing this one article CLEARLY represent all women on the planet with their discontent.

I  don't care if this article is almost a year old; this is the stupidest thing I have ever read. I mean, am I the only one seeing this? Am I the only fucking person who sees the significance of this man's accomplishment here? This guy could walk in to the interview wearing leather bondage gear while jerking off onto the microphone and still landed a spacecraft on a comet for Christ sake! Why the hell are these people so hung up on a guy's shirt when he just catapulted the human species further into the final frontier!?

The reactions on twitter and Tumblr have been so biased and over the top, you would think this shirt just jumped off of this man's body and started raping every woman in the United Kingdom.


The button-down top of systematic oppression he was wearing was created by Elly Prizeman; a friend of his, (who is also a woman,) and I'm sure she is just as surprised as I am that in the presence of such an amazing feat of technological accomplishment, there were people out there so in love with their own victim complex that they would go out of their way to be offended by this completely harmless shirt.
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The Dumbest Article Ever Written: "Your shirt is sexist and ostracizing"

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Remember #Gamergate? Remember that huge controversy surrounding ethics in video game journalism, that ended up being a huge clusterfuck that became one of the biggest controversy's of 2014? I do. I was there when it all went down, and with my own eyes I saw the final nail being driven into the coffin of the video game journalism industry.
It all started back in August of 2014. Indie game developer Zoe Quinn’s ex-boyfriend Eron Gjoni published an online expose detailing their relationship, and why they ultimately broke up. Eron claimed that Zoe spread her legs to prominent figures in the gaming media and indie development scene, most notably, a Kotaku journalist named Nathan Grayson. Not long after the post gained some meager popularity, A YouTuber named "MundaneMatt" creates a video reviewing Zoey Quinn's recently Green-lit Steam game: Depression Quest, and just so happened to mention Eron's post in detail. It wasn't long after that that the video was taken down; Flagged by Zoey Quinn herself for "copyright Infringement" because the video contained a single screenshot of the game being reviewed. One. Single. Goddam. Screenshot.

This was the spark that ignited the flames of controversy, as many in the gaming community -including readers of Kotaku- who were genuinely concerned about the integrity of the media outlets who represent them indulging in corruption, were lumped in with the inbred trolls who just wanted to call Zoey a slut by the "social Justice warriors". The ad-hominem bullshit went back and forth like gunfire in the battle of Waterloo before game Journallism made their biggest mistake of all.

Editors and Journalists representing the elite gaming and tech press combine to create the Google group "Gaming Journalist Professionals" or "GameJournoPros", and by August 28th, There were several articles posted on these popular websites -within 48 hours of each-other- including "Gamers are Over" (Gamasutra) “A guide to ending ‘gamers’", (Gamasutra) “There are gamers at the gate, but they may already be dead”, (Destructoid) “Gamers are over”, (Rock, Paper, Shotgun) “The death of the ‘gamers’ ”, (Ars Technica) “Killing the gamer identity”, (Vice) “Gaming is leaving ‘gamers’ behind”, (Buzzfeed) and even Kotaku's very own (“We might be witnessing the ‘death of an identity’ ”) This includes dissertations by Academics like Dan Golding; writer of "Gamers are Over", wherein he argues -without a hint of evidence- that “the gamer identity has been broken” and that the gamer outrage “is an attempt to retain hegemony.” Even Nathan (Dick) Grayson linked to an article on his twitter account entitled "Why I'm not a gamer", basically saying the same thing. This sparked a controversy so massive, that even larger media outlets under the CFR (Council on Foreign Relations) umbrella such as Fox, MSNBC and CNN started picking it up.

You see, #Gamergate didn't begin with Zoey Quinn, and It didn't begin with concerns about ethics in game Journalism. It began when Videogame and Tech Journalists/editors colluded secretly to use their massive audience to spin a narrative that would ultimately blow up in their faces. Gaming Journalism slit it's own throat when it -en large- decided to alienate on its own audience; claiming we were all basement-dwelling, racist, bigoted, homophobic, sexists, who all live with our parents, and have no lives. Gaming Journalism died when it decided to go to bed (sometimes literally) with game developers for favors, trying to cover it up, and calling us all a bunch of "losers" for daring to show the respect -the integrity- to hold these websites to the same ethical standards we would hold any other news outlet. Forget Anita Sarkeesian, Forget SJWs for a moment, because even though the Journalists who wrote this crap are Anita Supporters and SJWs themselves, that isn't what killed this industry; this industry killed itself.

Gamers have been unjustly marginalized for decades. We have been slandered by the Christian right, politicians, mainstream news media, Feminism, and even the Social Justice movement. We are used to people -who are not a part of our culture- claiming we were losers, brainwashed, or are practicing some form of Satanism.

However, video game Journalism was supposed to be different. The gaming press's inclusion into the mainstream of popular culture represented the first time our demographic was ever taken seriously. For the first time EVER, we had a platform and a legitimate representation we didn't have to be ashamed of. We weren't treated like second class citizens, our hobby wasn't labeled childish or an epidemic, and we were finally at a point where we could be taken seriously...
...But somewhere along the line, things have changed. At some point, legitimate critics of this problematic behavior by our own media have been lumped in with misogynists, and rape-supporters. Trolls have been used by this media as straw-men in a feeble attempt to cover their own asses; using threats of rape and murder against women in an attempt to distract people from the scandal.

I don't need to tell you how stupid it is to assume that after you slander an entire demographic of people, and because one of them threatens to rape or kill you, somehow that automatically means that everyone supporting #gamergate is now a rapist trying to kill you. It's the height of schizophrenia, but it was no accident. These very same media outlets went from "gamers are over" to "Oh, Look at how victimized these women are! look at the death threats and rape threats!" -in the hopes that the moment someone mentions rape and domestic violence, that would be enough to silence anyone with a legitimate critique.

It's called a Red Herring. Red herring is a kind of fallacy that is an irrelevant topic introduced in an argument to divert the attention of listeners or readers from the original issue.

  • Gamer Guy: "Wait, did you just bang Zoey Quinn and write favorably about her Depression Quest video ga--"

  • Gaming Media: "Uh, well.... Uh, THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!!!!! THAT GIRL OVER THERE JUST GOT A DEATH THREAT!!!!!"
  • Gamer Guy: "Hey, what do you mean it's not importa--"
  • Gaming Media: "THAT GIRL JUST GOT A RAPE THREAT!!!!! DON'T YOU CARE?!?!!?!?!? DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT THE INNOCENT DEFENSELESS WOMEN OUT THERE WHO JUST WANT TO LABEL YOU A MISOGYNIST IN PEACE?!?!?!?!"
  • Gamer Guy: "Dude, what the hell does this have to do with video ga--"
  • Gaming Media: "WHAT ARE YOU, SOME SORT OF RAPE SUPPORTER!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
  • Gamer Guy: "What the hell are you talking about!?!?"
  • Gaming Media: "HEY, EVERYONE!!!! #GAMERGATE IS FULL OF RAPE SUPPORTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Gamer Guy: "Dude, are you out of your mind!?"
  • Gaming Media: "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 oneelevenexclamationpoint"

As you could probably tell, this mentally retarded ten-year-old-girl tactic didn't quite work. After the rage died down and the dust settled, gamers were all that remained, and the gaming press, who in their dieing breaths, cursed those who loved and nurtured them into the giants they once were, lay there as their souls travel to the vast realm of obscurity. For they have lost the very lifeblood that any Journalistic entity would need to survive: Credibility.

How Videogame Journalism died: #Gamergate

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Hey remember this masterpiece of a computer? (Left?) The one that was said to revolutionize the home computing market, with its low price tag, all-in-one convenience, and groundbreaking design? Yeah, neither do I.

Sadly, this is the reality that a lot of Apple fanboys don't see when it comes to most of their product line. One minute, you have this earth-shattering piece of equipment that makes you feel like you're in Star Trek TNG, and in less than two years, it ends up something you can find in the back of Fred Sanford's Pickup truck.

Nowadays, Apple products have a turnover rate of a post-apocalyptic tomato garden. If you have an iPhone 5, the iPhone 6 and iOS 7 have already made your $600 iPhone 5 about as useful as a Apple II running a PC version of Half-Life on a 4k resolution.

Yeah, I've been a Mac fanboy since I was about 11, but I've only ever had an affinity for the Macs with the PowerPC chip, because everything looks better in heindsight when you're wearing your nostalgia goggles.

For us old-school Mac users, the PowerPC chip is where it's at. PowerPC had better fractal processing than x86 at the time, it was a RISC processor, (it was easier to code for using Assembly language,) and it was overall inherently different than the mainstream windows machines. Intel macs, in my opinion, are just your average x86 machine with a "license" to run Mac OS X. I have a Sony brand laptop that mine as well be a CLONE of the first Macbook, and cost me literally HALF what I would have paid for the first Macbook when it came out. Nowadays, I don't see a single ounce of justification for buying a new Mac anymore. They're overpriced, they're basically your average PC now, and they have about as much staying power as MC Hammer in 1991.

On a different note, Apple has always had this bad habbit of abandoning it's end users for new users. They did it with Mac OS 9, they did it with OSX 10.5, they did it when they abandoned OpenDoc and replaced it with Java, and they did it AGAIN when they abandoned PowerPC for Intel. Imagine how angry Apple's end users were when all those people who sold both of their kidneys and one of their nads to buy the PowerMac G5, were told that their machine was almost completely obsolete in less than two years?


Obviously, Apple is a money-making company, and will exploit its cool-aid drinking Jobshova's Witnesses for every penny out of their wallets, and every drop of their blood, but I think that this practice is going to bite this company in the ass pretty soon. Think about it: if the interval between an apple product being cutting edge and obsolete toilet paper gets any shorter, People --including Apple fanboys-- will start to realize that no matter how advanced this technology is when it comes out, it's only going to be worth a shit for about a year-and-a-half at most before it isn't compatible with anything Apple makes anymore. That, coupled with the already mortgage-payment price tags of these products and you have a recipe for disaster.

Why Apple Sucks as a Company (And How to Fix It)

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Wired.com's  Senior Associate Editor, Angela Watercutter reported today (June 23rd, 2015) Marvel's pick for the new Peter Parker, and guess what!? It's a pale-face white kid with brown hair!

Now, I know what you're thinking: "no shit he's a pale-faced white kid with brown hair! It's almost as if they stayed true to the source-material or something!" But apparently, there are some people out there who find this revelation a little disappointing.

Apparently, screech from Saved-By-The-Bell over here (right) is a bit underwhelmed by the fact that Spider-Man is white person, Tom Holland. She would have preferred that the first EVER incarnation of Spider-Man in the Marvel cinematic universe were this Black-Latino kid named Miles Morales that no one outside of the hardcore comic fandom has ever heard of, who took over as the web-slinger after Peter Parker fucking DIED in the Ultimate comics universe.

In her article, she asserts that "When Marvel and Sony announced Spider-Man’s inclusion in the Marvel Cinematic Universe earlier this year, fans got excited that we could see a fresh take on the character, rather than just another fresh-faced white dude." (And by "fans", I'm sure she means those social Justice Warriors who are always known for their empowering message of equality and inclusion, unless, of course, you're a heterosexual white male. In which case, you can go fuck yourself.)

She then follows up this statement by saying: "No offense to fresh-faced white dudes." -as if that's supposed to negate the garbage we just read. Kinda the same way an intolerant southern redneck prefaces an argument with "I'm not a racist, but..." just before they continue with the inevitably fucked up conversation.

Angela still holds to the idea that "There was still a shot that Peter Parker could be re-imagined." Perhaps Angela and her "fans" would have preferred that Peter Parker be a trans-special Lesbian Tumblr feminist who moonlights as a bi-curious werewolf unicorn from outer space.

Wired Editor has a "problem" with Peter Parker being played by a white actor.

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So in an article written by Bradley Wint of Trymodern.com, Ikea is interested in selling furniture that can wireless-ly charge a post-modern hipster's inevitably white iPhone, as seen in this picture below:

No longer must the libertarian starbucks blogger with a Pintrest account be forced to charge their apple computer by crawling underneath an awkwardly positioned coffee table to plug it into an outlet controlled by the system. Now, all they need do is sit at home, in their roach-infested 100 year old apartments, and write articles about that one band no living human being has ever heard of, from the comfort of their own IKEA desk!
There are also a wide variety of anti-establishment desk lamps designed to charge your phone in a variety of ironic ways, just in case you think using a cord is too mainstream. There's even one that looks like the world's most ironic tobacco pipe!

http://www.amazon.com/boomyours-Phantom-Wireless-charging-desk/dp/B00PKF3D2C

Ikea makes furniture to charge your douchey hipster devices

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Welcome to Ragepro. This is a blog. I sometimes use to discuss gaming, technology, music and politics on this blog. This is a satirical, and sometimes sarcastic blog written by a comedian, so if you're into that kind of thing, feel free to follow me and shit.

#SJW #Rapeculture #LGBTQWOPOMGWTF #slutshaming #genderbinary #ablism #culturalappropriation #IHateWhitePeopleForNoGoodReason

A Raging Professional

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