photo 500x90_zpstdr3iova.png
I know some of y'all have been tempted to buy a cellphone under $30 for the holidays. Sure, it may seem like a good deal as a gift, or for yourself, and sometimes it is, but here are a few reasons why you should do your research before buying a piece of shit by accident.

1. They are shit.

And by shit, I mean badly designed, poorly constructed, and made from materials slightly more dense than a clump wet toilet paper dried in the Mojave desert. The screens of these phones may claim that they are Gorilla glass, but in reality, they are easier to scratch than a sheet of copy paper is scratched by a fucking Gladius broadsword. A slight breeze could make your screen look like a fucking Mosaic tile in a catholic auditorium.

2. They are outdated.

I don't care if the $20 phone is running Android 6: If your phone doesn't have at least a 199 PPI (Pixels Per Inch) screen density, or an 800 by 400 pixel resolution, you're wasting your money. There is no point in buying a smartphone if the resolution is shit, because you will just end up being arbitrarily locked out of apps on the Google Play store that require a decent resolution to use, such as Autodesk Sketchbook, or most decent games.

Speaking of Apps and hardware, if the phone doesn't have at least a Dual core processor, it's not worth buying, and could potentially be dangerous in a life-threatening emergency. Android OS was never designed with anything but multitasking in mind, which means that if you're trying to make a phone call, one core needs to display the stuff on the screen, while the other core makes the call. Most shit phones have only one processor, yet run Android 4.4; making something as simple as a goddamn phone call the world's biggest, slowest pain in the ass. Could you imagine needing to press the emergency call button, only for the phone to just sit there with the screen locked up, as the axe murderer chops down the bathroom door?

Oh, and there's the ram. Most of the time, when you see a smartphone around 20 bucks, it claims to have 512 megs of ram built in, but what that really means is that it only lets you use 384, or 256 megs of it, while the Android OS uses up the rest, so don't even bother with it. Get a phone with at least 1 Gig of ram, just to avoid that bullshit, because there is a huge difference in performance.

3. They're embarrassing.

Now I know I'm going to sound like a colossal douche saying this, but... Fellas, imagine you're trying to hollar at a girl, and she giving' up 'dem didgits, so she pulls out her iPhone 6 to drop a number on your ass. Do you really wanna be that nigga that pulls out a Kyocera Event? Yeah, I didn't think so.

When your phone is shit, people know, and most of the time, they can tell just by looking at it. Low resolution, ugly design, and the fact that the glass is broken from the last time you dropped it because it's about as easy to grip as a bar of soap in a prison shower stall, are all signs that you have a low quality device.

You're probably wondering why I keep using a picture of the same phone for this article, and there's a very good reason for this: It's the perfect example of what I'm talking about.

I bought the LG Optimus L3 II (e425) from Fry's Electronics when I moved back to California and got my first job in the state way back in March this year. I was convinced to go to Fry's on a whim, since I needed a cell phone, but I didn't have a lot of money to spend; leading me to buy this:

... For $50... In fucking March of 2015. I take it home, thinking I got a sweet deal, open the box and turn it on, only to realize that the screen resolution is low, with a pixel density about as high as a Nokia brick phone back in the early 2000s. Though it was made very well, the glass screen scratched easier than a Gameboy Advance, and with only 1 core, it was slow as all fuck when it was connected to wifi.

Later on, I bought a T-Mobile Sim card for it, only to find that the phone was so outdated, it didn't even run something as old as a 3G data pipe, but instead, only ran Edge/2G, on a 4G LTE plan I had to pay $40 a month to use.

I ended up replacing it with a Motorola Moto E (2nd generation, 2015) on a Virgin Mobile plan; a phone that only cost me $40 at a WalMart, all because I did my research before going out and buying a phone.


That's the main point I want people to glean from this Article: Be and informed buyer. Don't buy a smartphone at random. I don't care if you're buying it as a gift, or for your kids, because most smartphones you buy don't have the specs on the box. You walk into a store to buy a smart phone, you're walking in there blind. You have no idea what the screen resolution is, what kind of CPU it has, or sometimes even what kind of OS it's running. The sellers and retailers do this on purpose, looking to rip off unsuspecting buyers who have no idea what they're doing, and believe me: it's very easy to get ripped off when buying a smartphone.

If you are interested in buying a phone, and want to know if its any good, do yourself a favor and go to This website gives full specs, with detailed info on whether or not a certain feature is any good. Its great for both beginners and the more advanced Android users. You'll learn a lot, and you'll be glad you did.

3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Buy a Crappy Android Phone

Next PostNewer Posts Previous PostOlder Posts Home