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Android gaming has come a long way since it was nothing more than a collection of games ported from iOS. Kind of a shame though, that some 5 years after Android gaming has gone mainstream, it still sucks in a lot of ways.

1. Way too many ads.

If you download a game for free, be prepared to be gang-raped in a back alley at 3AM by pop up ads that require a Bluetooth stylus and the precision of a fucking brain surgeon to close without accidentally clicking on the ad. The overwhelming majority of Google Play Games exist for the sole purpose of re-purposing a Unity source code in order to build games around spamming for ad revenue.

Allow me to ask my fellow android gamers a question: How many times have we Android gamers had to sit through -or click out of- a full screen ad after every load screen, menu transition, or even immediately following a death? How many of these games allow you the option of buying your way out of the spam, via some in-game purchases? Not that many, you're probably saying to yourself.

2. Most of the games are clones.

It's believed that at least 99.999999999% of all Google Play games were built using a source code from Unity and ported to the Android platform. This leaves you with 98,765,432.1 of the exact same fucking game, released on Google Play under dozens of different names, and with only slight variations by at least 90 different publishers.

3. Blatant Copyright Infringement.

The vast majority of runners and platformers released by Chinese publishers straight up steal intellectual property from popular North American film studios and video game designers with impunity, while profiting from it via the ad revenue they get by flooding your screen with marketing bullshit. Funny how channels on YouTube can be struck, or deleted via FALSE copyright claims, yet the developers on Google Play can freely engage in flat-out fucking THEFT without management so much as batting an eye.

Of course, this doesn't apply to all Android games, and the ones that don't suck ass usually get the most attention, but it cannot be denied that there is just way too much fucking garbage on Google Play right now.


4. Pay-To-Win Micro-transactions.

This pay-to-win bullshit is when a game developer strategically designs a game with the intent of making it discouraging, or even downright fucking impossible to win without forking over real cash in order to gain a fair, or even mild advantage. Games like Robots and Mobile Strike sometimes make it a requirement to fork over real cash for certain items and weapons, regardless of the progress you make in the game to earn them.

I am not entirely apposed to micro-transactions, but I feel there is a right and WRONG way to go about them. This sort of think should be used as a way to enhance the game play, not become a barrier to it, and the ladder happens WAY too often. This type of bullshit is mirrored in the console and PC mainstream, where pay-to-win DLC is used to patch a partially completed game that you would ordinarily have to pay $60 for anyway.

5. Vast majority of games don't support gamepads.

Point and click gaming may comprise the vast majority of the Android gaming platform, and probably don't need controllers, but games that very OBVIOUSLY DO need gamepad support, such as Racing, Fighting, and even some third-person action games should be fucking REQUIRED to integrate support for a peripheral like that, yet the overwhelming majority don't have that option, leaving you to play games that obviously weren't ideal for touch-screen controls, to be played with nearly %30 of your screen to be covered up by your own thumbs, in a slippery, awkward fucking mess of an experience.

I had recently reviewed The King of Fighters 2015 A for Android on RageFor.com, and I was shocked and baffled to find that It didn't even have basic support for peripherals like game pads or joysticks. KOF was a franchise developed more than 15 years ago by SNK, and they haven't figured out how to get basic Gamepad support for a 15 Year old fighting game? Are you shitting me? SNK is selling the entire NEO*GEO  fighting game library for 4.99 a pop already! Are you telling me they couldn't figure this shit out for those games either?!

5 Reasons Android Games Suck.

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you're probably wondering why I'm writing about some obscure piece of shit Android tablet that no one has ever heard of, and the reason is because its pissing me off. I bought this thing almost a year ago for around $50 at BestBuy thinking I was going to get a sweet deal, only to run into problem after problem that almost had me German suplexing this thing into the nearest industrial wood chipper.


1. Most of the games and apps crash.

Let's be honest, ladies and gentlemen; most tech savvy people would rather be caught by their parents in an awkward BDSM session than be seen dead with an off-brand tablet. The vast majority of people buying this thing are buying it for their kids, so they can do homework and, more importantly, play games. Too bad most of the games crash harder than the Titanic making out with an Iceberg.

The fact that this thing only has 512 megs of system RAM, Supplemented by a Dalvik Cache emulating the other 512MB of it on an internal memory that only has 8 Gigabytes of space is a recipe for disaster. The vast majority of the games I tested for my Review of the product on RageFor.com crashed less than two minutes into the game, whereas some of them crashed immediately after the loading screen. To makes matters worse, Firefox -Fucking Firefox- crashes regularly on this device, and so does the Swype Keyboard that I paid for, specifically for this device!

2. Its racist against Bluetooth devices

I bought this thing for the sole purpose of using it as a word processor. I needed a tiny laptop to write my articles with, and this was the only thing that made sense at the time. Anyway, I pair the shit, start writing, and 4 minutes later, not only did the keyboard I paired randomly disconnect 18 times in the course of a fucking hour,  it would hold down the"P" key and "SPACEBAR" for eternity, then disconnect, leaving me to have to go back to Settings>Bluetooth Devices and pair the fucking thing AGAIN after putting in the pin, and guess what? it didn't pair, so I had to do the shit again!!!!!!!! Then guess what happened?!?!?!!??! IT UNPAIRED THE FUCKING MOUSE I WAS JUST USING!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Really bad hardware ruins the good hardware.

The graphics processor is nice, The Mediatek CPU isn't slow at all, yet with only 512MB of ram , and a touch sensor that is slightly more accurate than a Storm Trooper playing Lazer Tag, you could hardly call this a decent device. Also, the screen is shit. Sorry to say it, but if you view it from any angle other than sideways, and slightly tilted backward to the ceiling, you get more glare than staring directly into the surface of the sun, and with only thousands of colors, you can easily see patterns of pixels supplementing the lack of full color support that just about every other tablet in the known universe seems to have.

Now I know what You're thinking: Rage, why are you judging this thing by today's standards? don't you know this is a old budget tablet? The answer is no, I'm not judging this by today's standards. I'm judging this as a word processor. Companies like Apple and IBM had this shit on lock-down way back in 1978, and for a device like this to be so bad at it some 45 years later is just mind boggling.

3 Reasons why the DigiLand DL701Q Sucks

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